Letter I: Introduction

My first letter to my children.

"Paul in Prison" by Gustave Doré (public domain via Wikimedia Commons)

My Dear Children,

I am sitting down, with the help of God, to write you some special letters. You see, one of the most important jobs that God has given me as your dad is to provide for you — both for your bodies and, insofar as I am able, for your souls.

Since none of us know for certain the day or the hour that Jesus will call us home, one of the ways I provide for the needs of your bodies is by something called “life insurance.” Life insurance is something you can buy that makes sure that your family gets lots of money if your dad dies while you’re still young so that I can still provide for you and your Mom when I’m gone. That way Mommy can still buy food and clothes and all the things you need. She can use the money to make sure you have a safe house to live in, and she can keep homeschooling you, and she doesn’t have to worry about leaving you during the day to go to work.

Even though I of course want to go to Heaven to be with God, for that is exceedingly abundantly better than anything we can even imagine here on earth, I hope for your sakes that I will remain with you for a long time because dads are very important in helping their children to know, love, and serve God. I cannot bear the thought of your suffering if I were to go ahead of you to Heaven, especially while you are still young. So hopefully we all live long, happy lives together, growing in the faith and in joy and doing good works for the Good God. Or perhaps we will all get to be martyred together¹ and can go straight up to Heaven at the same time and never have to endure being separated. But God always knows what is best - He loves us more than we love each other (much more), so if for some reason He calls me home earlier than we would like, then it is important for me to provide for all your material needs while I wait for you, and that is why I bought life insurance.

What about your souls, though? Saint Louis, King of France, was once told by his mother that she would rather see him die than commit a mortal sin. This is because she knew, as you know, that our souls are much more important than our bodies. Jesus will bring all of our bodies back to life when He returns. Mortal sin, however, is death for our souls and if our souls are dead, by choosing to turn away from God through mortal sin, then when we die we will be miserable in Hell forever - separated from God and from each other. But if our souls are alive in Christ, then even if our body dies, we will live and be happy with God and each other forever in Heaven, and we will even get our bodies back better than before when Jesus returns and sets all things right. Those whose souls are dead in mortal sin will also get their bodies back when Jesus returns, but they will be ugly, and more like dead bodies than living ones.

Our souls, then, are much more important than our bodies. I make sure to provide for your bodies ahead of time with life insurance - just in case I cannot be here to do so myself. So shouldn’t I also try to do the same, or even more so, for your souls? Yes, of course I should, and that is why I am writing you these letters.

These letters are meant to be a sort of “spiritual life insurance.” They are a way for me to provide for you, protect you,  encourage you, and teach you how to know, love, and serve God — even if it is not His will that I do so as long as we might have liked on earth.

If God has taken me, and you are reading this, I want to tell you that it is okay to be sad. Saint Augustine thought he was doing something wrong when he cried after Saint Monica (his mother) died because Saint Monica was in the best place - Heaven! Shouldn’t he be happy for her and celebrating her good fortune? And besides, he would get to join her eventually if he kept following Christ. Isn’t it a lack of faith to mourn when a Christian dies instead of celebrating? No, it is not a lack of faith, it is okay to be sad. Jesus wept for Lazarus even though He knew that He was going to raise Lazarus up. Death is a sad thing that we were not made for and it is a sign of love, not a lack of faith, to miss someone we love when we cannot enjoy their company. It is okay to be sad. But in your grief, remember that God knows best. If He allowed this, He did so for a very important reason, and it will all work out for the best - you will see! And we will all talk about how wonderful of a decision it was and praise God’s Wisdom and His Love for us when we are all finally back together at last at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. In the meantime, I will be with you, praying for you, and smiling at you. Do not be afraid - God is your true Father, as I have always told you, and He is with you more so now than ever. A father of the fatherless, and a protector of widows, is God in his holy habitation (Psalm 68:5-6). Offer your tears to God - the thought of them breaks my heart and I cannot bear to think of them for long! But it is only fair that if you should have to suffer my absence, then I should have to suffer the thought of your tears as I write these. I love you so much - be of good courage and wait for the Lord!

At the time of writing this first letter, you are all quite young: C. (8), F. (7), C. (5), and A. (3), so I am especially anxious to write these since you are at such young and vulnerable ages, and if I were to leave tomorrow then the youngest of you may not even remember me. But the best part about these letters is that, unlike life insurance in the world where you don’t get the riches unless you die, anything good in these letters can be used for you even if I am still alive, and for my godchildren, and even for your children. I hope that perhaps I will be there to personally hand you these letters when you turn eighteen, or at your confirmation, or at some other important milestone in your lives, and that you can still be edified by them and even share them with your children, if God wills it. But I will just trust God with all of that - we already talked about how He knows best.

I have much more to tell you, but I don’t want to drag this first letter out. Let me conclude with some practical notes about these letters that you may wonder about as you read them.

First, you will notice that I addressed the letter to my “children” instead of writing out each of your names. This is for the simple reason that even though there are four of you now, at the time I am writing this first letter, I don’t know if the Lord will bless us with more children and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. Be assured, though, that I am writing these letters with all of my love to each of you in particular - even if you haven’t been born yet.

Second, I am going to write these using my normal language and vocabulary, for the most part. I wont assume your age, since only God knows when you will read these. If you are young enough to need my vocabulary explained, then doubtless your Mom or some good person will be reading them to you (or you to each other) and can explain any difficult words, phrases, or concepts. If you are old enough to read them yourselves, you will appreciate me addressing you in my normal voice. I think that I’ve already broken this rule in trying to explain life insurance at the beginning, but you’ll have to bear with me. The oldest of you is still only eight as I write this, and so that is how I am used to communicating with you. I don’t think you will mind.

Third, I will try to stick to what is important for your salvation and growth in the love of God. That is the purpose of these letters, and it would be impossible for me to write down everything that I want you to know in life - I will have to trust that God will provide you what you need. Seek first His Kingdom and it's righteousness, and I am sure that our Father in Heaven will provide you with everything else. After all, if you do all sorts of worldly things well, but break one of the least of God’s commandments and teach others to do so, then you will be called “least” in the Kingdom of Heaven. On the other hand, even if you fail over and over again at everything the world considers important or desirable, but you do and teach God’s commandments, then you will be called “Great” in the Kingdom of Heaven, and shine like the sun in the Kingdom of our Father for all eternity. After all, what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?

Finally, if you’re reading this after God has called me home, I want to tell you how much I love you and that I am praying for you, and watching you, and I am well pleased with you. I can’t wait for you to join me. I will be here to greet you and I will gather all your favorite Saints that I can muster to meet you first thing when you arrive. I will ask God if I can come and visit you on earth to encourage you, but do not be discouraged if I can’t. You know how the Lord likes surprises. He loves you too much to spoil yours or diminish the reward you are saving up by your faith and patient endurance. But in the case this troubles you, I will write more about visiting you in another letter. In the meantime, love one another, love God, and do good.

With all my love in Christ,

Dad

1. This remark may seem a bit macabre to the outside reader, but there is some context to it. Our children were saddened in discussions about how in the natural course of life parents typically (hopefully) die before their children, since they are necessarily older than their children. Understandably, our children (the oldest of whom is 8 right now) would like us to be alive during their entire life, but that would necessarily mean a younger death for them, which of course no one wants, and they’re not quite old enough where they’re ready to imagine a world without their parents. They have a strong devotion to the martyrs (especially Saint Perpetua and Felicity) and so we playfully resolved this tension with them by suggesting that perhaps God will simultaneously spare us the pain of parting and the tragedy of an early death by giving us all the grace of being martyrs. That way we would all go to Heaven together in glory and no one would get left behind. Clearly Sainthood and Martyrdom is only glorious through the eyes of faith, so if you do not believe in Christ and the Resurrection then you will not find this reassuring. But our children believe firmly, as we do, in the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come so this reference provides a bit of a playful wink to them as well as gently communicating a spiritual truth about eternal life and the glory of martyrdom for Christ. Even if you don’t believe, I’m sure you can understand how that would be so if you did believe. Finally, since this is being shared on the internet and people may read this from varying backgrounds, let me make the disclaimer and clarification that in Catholicism, unlike some other religions, martyrdom can never be sought intentionally and is only a reference to being killed as an innocent witness to Christ (for example, if a Roman Emperor demanded that you renounce Jesus or else you would be killed, and you peacefully refused). It never means any sort of voluntary action on the part of the martyr and certainly never implies any sort of violence or intentionality on the part of martyred party.