How to ACTUALLY Pray the Family Rosary With Young Kids

Have you tried and failed to pray the family Rosary? So have we... many times. But, thanks be to God, we've been praying it every day for four years. Here are some tips you might find helpful.

Fear not. Teach the people to pray the Rosary, the family Rosary—all will be well. Fear not.

— Our Lady to Mother Teresa in 1947¹

To adapt a quote from GK Chesterton: “The family Rosary has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” I won’t waste time here explaining the benefits of the family Rosary. This post is for those families who know that they want to pray it, but have not begun; or tried and found it too difficult.

I know that it is difficult, but I can tell you from experience that it is both possible and absolutely worth it. We started consistently praying the family rosary (after many failed attempts over the years) four years ago when we had three kids, ages four and under, with one on the way. Since then, we have prayed it every single day and it has brought peace, virtues, and spiritual growth for ourselves and for our children that we had previously been unable to attain with our own efforts.

Enough preface! If you’re reading this, you probably have young kids and don’t have much time to spare. Let’s get into the tips for beginning to pray the family rosary.

1. Proper attitude.

I think the concern most parents have in starting the family rosary is that their kids won’t be able to sit still or stay quiet—as kids do. You’ve probably experienced this struggle at Mass as well, and are not eager to bring more struggle into your life, especially not an extra 30+ minutes per day. So with all that in mind, is it really worth it to attempt praying the family rosary if you and your kids might not get anything out of it?

The answer is a resounding yes. I wrote in length in a letter to my children about why we should pray the Rosary even when we don’t feel like we get anything out of it. But to summarize here:

1. Mary asked us to, so it doesn’t really matter if we feel like we “get anything out of it.” Come to the family rosary with the attitude that you are not there for yourself. You are there because Mary has asked us to pray the Rosary, and you are there to show your love to Jesus and Mary. After all, we ought to show our love to others in the way that they receive it best, not in the way that we prefer. My wife has a different “love language” than me, so I have to be very intentional about loving her in ways that she actually desires. For example, I personally could let the dishes pile up to the ceiling before I even noticed. She, on the other hand, needs an absolutely clear kitchen counter to start the day. For years I had trouble understanding how doing the dishes for her was showing her more love than spending quality time together—but that is how she receives my love the best, so now I make sure to show her my love through that act of service. In the same way, we need to love Jesus and Mary the way that they ask, not the way that we would like, and certainly not just the way that we “get the most out of it.” This attitude is essential because, when it’s not about you any more, you will find that you have lots more patience to endure the inevitable difficulties that come with praying the Family Rosary.

2. We actually do get something out of it, even when we don’t feel like it or we spend our whole time battling distractions; more so even than many, if not all, other devotions that we receive sensible consolation from. God prefers to gently shower down His grace in a way that requires faith. The Rosary is meritorious precisely because it is more difficult to pray. If you and your family just show up and do your best to pray the rosary as a family, I promise you (and more importantly, She promises you) that the graces will flow abundantly into your family. Please write me when they do, so that I can share more testimonies that will encourage more families to answer Our Lady’s request to pray the daily Rosary.

Committing to the family Rosary for the sake of Jesus and Mary and trusting in the invisible graces it will provide, in spite of all the certain difficulties, is the first step to establishing this habit.

2. Set the mood.

Okay! Now that we’re committed to doing it, let’s do it well. The ambience you establish will go a long way in setting the tone for your children. Dim the lights, use candles, sacred imagery, sacred music, holy water, and even incense. You don’t have to build an entire chapel in your home, but just doing a few of these things will help set the tone for your kids.

You can also use these things as incentives for them to try to sit still and listen, or pray out loud. For example, we will let the children help us light the candles, and then if they are good for the Rosary (according to their age and expectations) then they get to blow out the candles. We also bought a special golden candle-snuffer for this exact reason, which makes the job even more coveted.

When we started, we prayed it right before bed, so we would get their little sleeping bags out and lay them on the floor. This let the littles fall asleep if they needed to, but it also gave them designated spots to be in to prevent some conflict from arising.

Finally, don’t be afraid to get creative. We’ve used this video on the Rosary by Harpa Dei before, as well as ambience videos like this one. Bottom line: set an ambience that teaches the kids that this is a sacred, special time, and that helps them concentrate and engage according to their ability.

3. Start small and ramp up

It might be jarring for your whole family to start with all five decades, so start small. I would recommend that you just start with the opening prayers and one decade. Then add another decade every week or month until you’re praying the whole thing.

I would also recommend that even if you’re doing only one decade as a family, that you and your spouse finish the rest of the Rosary together after the children go to bed. This will bring down the graces that you will need to eventually pray the entire Rosary together.

4. Be consistent.

Once you commit, plan on doing it every single day, at around the same time. When we first started, we always did it as the last thing before bedtime. Now that our kids are getting older, we do it right after dinner, so that the older kids can stay up afterwards. but pick a time of day that you can make consistently work and stick to it.

Also, make sure you’re being consistent with your expectations, incentives, and consequences for your children’s behavior at the rosary. Set clear expectations, and make sure to follow through. If you’re doing this every night, your kids will pick it up quickly.

It will definitely take sacrifices. I’m sure that you don’t already have a half hour free at the same time every day as you’re reading this. But think about what would work best, and most consistently, for your family and then commit to it. It will take some trial and error, so don’t be afraid to change the time, but try to stick with it for at least two weeks once you’ve picked a time so that you give the routine some time to sink in before you change it again.

I think the consistency is probably the second most important part behind having the right attitude. Pray the Rosary every day.

5. Be flexible and make adjustments based on ages and circumstances.

Let’s temper the need for consistency with the need for flexibility and adaptability.

While you should be aim to be consistent and pray it every day, your circumstances with young kids will be frequently changing. “Bend but not break” should be the motto for your Family Rosary.

Over just the last four years, we have had seasons of praying it:

• With all the kids in their beds. We set up a little corner altar, lit a candle, and had them lay in their beds. We would lay next to the littlest, and the older kids had a rule that if their eyes were open they had to pray out loud.

• Taking turns having one parent lead downstairs with the older kids, while the other parent prayed it with the littlest child upstairs as they put her to sleep.

• Praying with everyone downstairs in front of our family altar, with the candles and lights dimmed and all the ambience described above.

We also know a family that has found great success placing a statue of Mary in the center of a coffee table, lighting a candle, and having the whole family kneel around it while they pray. There are all kinds of ways to adapt the family Rosary to the needs of your family in whatever season you find yourself in.

Based on your kids ages, you’ll need to vary your routine somewhat. You may just let the littlest kids play while you pray out loud, or you may put the smallest ones to bed first, or maybe you have a season just praying it while they go to sleep. Be flexible based on the needs of your family, just make sure you’re doing it every day. There have been plenty of days when we prayed it in the car coming home late from some event. If for some reason the rest of the family can’t pray it, or falls asleep too early, the father of the house should always make sure that he prays the whole Rosary on their behalf.

6. Engage the kids.

Find ways to engage the kids to help them both learn the prayers and begin meditating on the mysteries.

• Rosary Booklets - there are some great Rosary booklets for kids (like these or this) that have one prayer per page, with pictures of the mystery on each page. The kids get used to turning the page every prayer, and have a new image related to the mystery to engage their mind. This is probably the easiest way to start.

• Imagines - Before each decade, have the kids all close their eyes and get comfortable. Then, tell a brief story about the mystery, but with them in it. Then start the mystery and encourage them to imagine that during the mystery. Sometimes it helps to add one line half way through. For example, if you did an “imagine” about the nativity, maybe ask half way through, “Is there anything you want to give baby Jesus for a present?” By doing so you will begin to teach them the invaluable practice of meditation — and it may help you as well!

  My kids absolutely love this one and ask me to do it on almost a nightly basis. Come prepared though! It’s not so easy to think of good “imagines” on the fly. It’s a good opportunity for you to become more familiar with the mysteries yourself.

• Make Gifts - In the same vein as “Imagines,” explain to the kids that every “Hail Mary” they say well gives them a beautiful rose to give to Jesus and Mary. Have them imagine putting them together into a beautiful crown, and then let them carry up their invisible crowns and “place them” in front of images Jesus and Mary after each decade. I couldn’t believe how much my kids loved this.

  Now, in addition to the imaginary roses, they use their well-said prayers to make Jesus and Mary all kinds of special gifts, like baked goods (just tonight my daughter whispered to ask me if the Holy Family was gluten-free as she prepared some imaginary treat for them), clothes, even a pool. It really helps the kids put the focus on loving and honoring Jesus and Mary during the prayers.

• Drawing - this takes some prep work, but you can have some drawing supplies out and let your kids color or make pictures of the mysteries. Be more or less strict on what they’re allowed to color based on their ages, obviously.

• Take turns leading - Let them lead a decade as often as they want, or just get a regular rotation going.

• Other holy books - you can have them read books. Preferably holy books, but our youngest is 3 right now and we let it slide if she’s reading something else, as long as she’s quiet. Our 5 year old we let read “Holy Books” on occasion, and our oldest two we expect to pray along (although we let them use the Rosary Booklets if they want).

• What else? These are what we’ve found useful for engaging the kids in the Family Rosary. Please comment if you have anything else you’ve found to be helpful!

7. Be merciful, and have fun with it.

Most of all, you want to do your best to make sure that your kids have positive memories associated with praying the Family Rosary. This time together should feel like home to them, and create a relationship with Jesus, Mary, and the Holy Rosary that they can always depend on and return to. Be consistent, use discipline and incentives when you need to, teach them how to pray well, but be forebearing as your kids learn and patient with yourselves. I promise you it is worth it.

---

If you liked this letter, check out:

Letter IV: The Rosary & the Scapular (Part I)

Letter V: The Rosary & The Scapular (Part II)

To Christians Who Are Very Sad

Letter III: The Eucharist

1. Praying, not saying, the rosary helps us become christ-like contemplatives: EWTN. EWTN Global Catholic Television Network. (n.d.). https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/praying-not-saying-the-rosary-helps-us-become-christlike-contemplatives-9152